What can pastors do to affair-proof their marriages? I’ve had the opportunity to talk with a number of pastors whose marriages seem to be healthy. They are certainly long-lived; the most recently married of the pastors to whom I spoke has been married 31 years. The longest marriage was 41 years in my sample group.
From them, I learned some important lessons. We will look at eight ways pastors affair-proof their marriages over two episodes. Here are the second four:
5. Don’t have unreasonable expectations of your spouse at church. Let your spouse decide what to do in the church and expect nothing more.
6. Discern and discuss how much your spouse wants to hear about church matters. Some spouses like to hear as much as possible. Others like to be shielded from some of the ugly sides of the church. Find out where your spouse is, and try to communicate with that need in mind.
7. Defend your spouse. Unfortunately, many pastors’ spouses are the recipients of hurtful criticisms. Defend your spouse. Never put other church members first.
8. Converse with your spouse. You may have had a long, tough day. But you still must take time for your spouse. Take time to talk every day. Make a regular phone call home. And in your conversations, do more listening than talking.
Resources:
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